impulse

‘Sometimes I can be impulsive when I’m following my heart’ – the ode to my life. I was watching a TV show where at the end, the owner of a big company made an impulsive decision out of pure goodness of what he loves. He could have lost his company but he followed his heart. Of course I will have to wait until next week to find out the good on what happens but the feeling I felt when he said that was painstakingly familiar.

I have been talking for months about moving away. For years I have talked about my desires to move to LA and even more recently things have changed but I still know that I want to move somewhere. My dearest friends love to tell me that I am impulsive and I always fight it, but maybe I am and maybe that is ok, right? Anytime I ever follow my heart, it’s typically in a moment of heightened emotion, yes —  but that’s the point sometimes. Overthinking can kill a dream, and saying no can do the same. So why can’t we just follow the heart even if it means that we are approaching a moment with a quick mind and fast response?

I once knew someone who was probably more impulsive than I and it showed me that there is an accountability in being impulsive. If it’s going to hurt other people, don’t do it. Don’t be so impulsive that you’re dangerous with your actions. Don’t be so impulsive that you treat others as though they are just moments in your life to be placed in places where you can keep them stored away for when you need them.  

Being impulsive is not always bad though. I would always get so offended by the word and defensive as well, something I often do. But sometimes being the one to act on a moment or feeling is good. Follow your heart and do what feels right. I can’t begin to understand the regret of not doing the things you want to do because others are stopping you. I think that that also creates moments of impulse — feeling like no one will let you so you strike in rebellion just to do it anyway. I am not too sure I have all of the answers to this and I don’t really know where I am going with it all anyhow.

But essentially the point is this: being impulsive and following your heart can go hand and hand. And it can create some beautiful things. Saying yes – making the move – kissing the boy – trying the wine – getting the lip tattoo (yes, this is a thing) – it can appear as impulsive but sometimes I think it’s just the heart and the mind mastering the perfect plan. 

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