When It Doesn’t Work Out

The first post of the year is one that takes extensive consideration.

Do I write about my resolutions? Well no, because I didn’t make any this year.

Do I log my days at the gym for my ‘new year, new me’ lifestyle? Well, no because that doesn’t exist.

I could write about my potential goals for the new year! (different than resolutions)

Oh, what do you mean it’s already day 17 of the new year? I guess I should get started.

Here’s a silly thought — how about I just stop thinking so damn hard and right about my current state in my life? Maybe one person will be interested/bored at work with nothing to do!

So that is what I am going to do. I am going to write about my reality. The new year always sounds like it’s filled with promises with an air of refreshment to go along with it. We either happily or unfortunately say goodbye to one year and move forward in hopes for a drastic change or continued growth. That’s the key though, either way you look at it, you’re wanting to move forward. I think that the common misconception about the new year though is that it means a marvelous turn of events has to happen when in reality, that’s not the case. Sometimes the new year means making changes you never thought you would. Parting from friends, moving from family, or even losing a job.

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STORY TIME

I packed an overnight bag with my work clothes on a hanger the night before my first day back to work after the turn of the year. I would sometimes stay at my boyfriends, especially on Mondays so I didn’t run the risk of being late to the Tuesday morning meetings.However, since the turn of the new year, I had felt a little down in the dumps but I couldn’t quite figure out why. I told my boss in the last week of the year that I would sort through the January issue and have it ready for web adaption the following week. Yet I found myself feeling this sense of ‘it can wait’ or more so, ‘don’t waste your time’.

I have always joked that I am psychic, giving credit to my gut feeling, and usually I am always right. I felt something was off in the days prior to heading back to work for a reason — yet I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. So with that, I headed to T’s house ready to get back to work the next day with the magazine still in tact and untouched.

I woke up surprisingly early (aka on time) and took my time to get ready. I wasn’t rushed heading to work and possibly because something still felt a bit off. I basically went through the motions without feeling responsible for how it all got done. After an uneventful drive, I showed up fifteen minutes early, not wanting to be late to the 10am meeting. As I walked down the hall and greeted everyone that was already comfortably situated in their office, my boss asked for me to do the same but then to come speak with him in about five minutes. In the time being, I said hi to a friend in the office, got situated like everyone else and then went into his office. He asked me to close the door.

This is where everything fell into place and I seriously began to consider moving to New Orleans and working as a psychic.

I was let go by 10am.

In the moments that followed, my boss talked while I zoned out. Do I cry? What the hell do I do? I had never gotten let go before because the past jobs I had were in High School with the exception of my internship a few summers back. Looking in the eyes of someone who just essentially sealed your fate, and not in a good way, is tough. I couldn’t decide between acting like a damn professional or crying like a new born baby. I chose the former of course but only because the last thing I wanted to do was build on my pyramid of embarrassment.

After leaving his office, most would do the practical thing like pack up and get the hell out. I didn’t. I finished my tasks and started the job search immediately. I updated my resume, edited my LinkedIn, and removed my current job from my Instagram bio (LOL, like my followers give a sh*t).  Things were sure as hell changing and I definitely needed a new year, new job shirt stat.

For the rest of the day, I didn’t say much to anyone. I said bye to my intern friend Gio, gave the photo editor a hug, and left. At 3pm, a chapter closed and I was ready for a drink. That night I ate chips and queso and downed a root beer float. I guess drunk on sugar worked for me too. Although feeling sorry for myself was probably the easiest thing to do, I decided to count my blessings. I looked back at it all as an experience and then scheduled an interview for another job the next day.

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In unfortunate situations, it’s easy to shrivel up and shut the world out. And that’s totally fine. I don’t think there is a wrong or right way for dealing with situations likes this. You just lost something valuable — if you want to go home and binge watch Scream Queens or see a movie alone and cry then do it. However, don’t make it a habit. Be sad and then embrace the change. Life isn’t over and IT WILL GO ON, I swear it.

So if you’re the type to write out resolutions, add this to your list: learn to just keep going. Things will continue to fall into place the way they should, even if you have to lose the job you worked your ass off for in order to figure out just how it all works. What is that quote? Sometimes things have to fall apart in order for everything to fall into place? Something like that. (Gosh, I am filled with cliche quotes these days and I blame the self-help book I cracked open recently.) Anyway, don’t give up. Things don’t work out all the time and when you learn that, you can truly appreciate the things that do. If this post isn’t helpful enough, please read You’re a Badass. Jen Sincero says all the things I wish I could and more.

Happy New Year pretty people. You are so awesome and you will totally kick ass in 2016, I feel it.

xoxo

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