It’s a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up. ~J.K. Rowling
I am probably going to ruin that quote by telling you that I have watched ONE Harry Potter movie, but hey you take what fits your situation and that it does. I know I have talked about this a lot in my blogs, but this reminds me of a stupid version of myself. The stupid Ashley that wanted so badly to leave college and find a job and be done with school.
Now, I want to slap myself because I do not want that as much anymore but what do you know, here I am. And as I was sitting in class the other day, all I could think about was how this is it as if I am going to slip into oblivion in May with everyone I have ever met at A&M ready to write me off. But nope, I will just be slipping into the real world…so I guess that sort of counts.
Anyway, as the end of my college experience approaches, I can not lie to you and say that I haven’t had a few panic attacks about the concept of “time”. I remember coming home after a night out with friends and just laying there thinking that I was sinking slowly into the bed. I was convinced that It was going to swallow me up, and at the time I was totally fine with it. That was panic attack one of 2015 and thankfully the bed was gracious and let me go.
Panic attack two came the other day when a good friend of mine got his dream job that he has been working super hard for (you go dude!). At that point, I was searching for any bottle of wine in the house so I could just play out one of those movie scenes where the girl dramatically takes the wine and chugs it, making some sort of “I’m not okay but I’m going to drink this wine so you have no idea” statement. I didn’t do that either. Instead I did what any normal person would do and celebrated my friend’s accomplishment by singing spice girls, “Wanna Be” to be specific, at karaoke night.
At this point, the panic has worn off and I was left thinking about time. I had come back full circle and again started thinking about how much time I had left. This time, I didn’t sink into my bed. (Probably because I wasn’t in a bed, I don’t know, that might be an important factor in that scenario.) Instead, I started to appreciate little things and suddenly it became clear to me that if this was how I was going to spend my last few months here at school, then hand me the mic and let’s sing.
I now get the concept of “these are the experiences we don’t get back”. Never again will I have this moment in time. My college experience is coming to an end and I can’t waste it by freaking out about the unknown. Never again will I be able to relax on a Thursday night knowing that I have a four day weekend…every weekend. (THE.STRUGGLE.) Never again will I live the day I am living now and If I am spending my time living my life, then that is what I must do.
Remember to appreciate the now and don’t stare at the hands on the clock. Yeah time slips away from us but do the most with that. We all have a life to live so let’s do it.
Thanks for reading!