The First of the Last

This past week I started my first week of my last year as an undergrad. Will I be going to grad school? Eh, who knows? But for now I want you to experience this last year with me. I want to share events, changes, important life lessons, ups and downs, and all the epiphanies I have in my crazy mind.  So let’s start with week one.

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Change. 

If  you were to ask me to pick one word that excites the heck out of me I would choose ‘change’. While change also scares the ever living crap out of me, there’s a pretty damn good feeling that comes with change. ‘Change’ has been the major theme to my rough draft aka my life as of late. This week I started my SENIOR year at one of the best schools in Texas (America). If you don’t know this, starting your senior year of college is like starting your last year of high school but more exciting. You still think you are super cool when walking to class, glancing at all the freshman while saying in your head, “el oh el, nice class of 2018 shirt”. The only difference is that 1. in a year, I will be entering big people world and 2. My classes are actually meaningful and small. Needless to say, I love change. Whether it comes in the form of a new haircut or new experiences, it’s still an exciting thing. If you do it right and embrace it, change can be so good.

Beauty 

What is beauty? I was asked this question a couple of times this week. At first I thought I could answer it off of the top of my head. It reminded me of those late night conversations you have with your friends. The ones where you’re comparing this person to that person and saying things like, “yeah she is really pretty, but her personality makes her this and that”. And don’t act like you don’t have those talks, we all do it. But as class went on, I realized she wasn’t asking what is beauty as an outer form, she was literally asking what does this freaking word mean. We always use it to describe people but it also means so much more. A moment can be beautiful because of what is beyond the surface, and a movie can be beautiful because of the story being told. And then there is you. You can be beautiful not because you did your hair and make-up, or not because you dressed nice, but because you smiled at someone today who really needed it.

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Being Happy and Healthy

In another one of my classes we talked about progress. We watched this super cool video on what progress can do. How there is good progress and how there is bad progress and in the end you’re always moving forward. I took this theory and compared it to my own life. Like I mentioned in my last entry, I struggle with the whole working out diet thing. I get so committed but then I stop. It stresses me out to stress so much about my body that I end up resenting the whole formula. But in the past few weeks I had a major attitude adjustment. I told myself I wasn’t going to diet and I wasn’t going to kill myself on work-outs. I just wanted to be happy and healthy. So that is exactly what I am doing. I am eating better to be good to myself and not because I feel like I need to live up to some self-normalization standard that we have all created over time. Now I feel like I am making “good progress” for myself and no one else.

It all ties together. I always find it funny when that happens. You can find beauty in change as well as happiness. Embrace the change. Find the inner beauty in things and appreciate the outer beauty. Appreciate you and be happy and healthy. Make good progress. Be good to you.

Thank you for reading

xoxo

Ashley

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