As I sit here and try to think of something cliché to type, I realize that it is almost impossible to write about friendships with out inserting some over used quote.
“Great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget”, or “a good friend knows all your stories, but as best friend has lived them with you”.
Either way, when talking about relationships with someone else, it’s almost impossible not to get sappy. I mean it’s the whole reason we write about it in the first place because we had some happy or nostalgic moment that made us reflect on this beautiful friendship.
Just recently, I was reminded that “friendship” isn’t always going to mean the same thing as time goes on. I used to think being close with someone meant seeing them everyday, being an active participant in every decision that they make, and lastly having everything in common. Boy, was I wrong? If that were the case I would have no friends. Another misconception comes from the fact that now a days we think we can tell a lot by someone’s Facebook or Instagram. We act like it’s so easy to depict what goes on with people’s relationships or how happy people are, or even who talks to who still. If my relationship with my best friend was based solely on how many pictures we post of each other then we would have a lousy friendship. I say this only because it is difficult to take pictures with someone who you don’t see often. However it may seem, well shouldn’t really matter because it’s often different from the reality.
Over six months ago, my best friend moved away. I moved away two and half years ago, but now it was her turn. I didn’t think anything of it because I had already done the sad departure that friendships often have to endure. But, I wasn’t expecting to feel so confused about it. I mean she really loves her new life. She is trying new things, meeting new people, never coming home, etc. She is doing all the things you would expect a college student who just left home to do. But for some reason it wasn’t sitting right with me. I felt angry; I felt left out and lost. I thought I was losing my best friend because I wasn’t seeing her for weeks or two months at a time. I wasn’t included in the decisions she was making anymore because she had her own and new way of doing things. And as time went on, she learned about new things and gained interest in new things that I don’t have the same interest for. At this point, I am pretty sure that we are no longer the duo that we were. We had our bickering moments and our fluffy moments of missing each other, but I was still convinced we had failed at the friendship system.
Then last week, I got a package in the mail. I knew it was coming because she told me so but what I saw inside made me cry for an hour straight. Not because the items were awesome (which they were), but because I knew that she knew me. What was in the box is not important, it was the thought behind it and the fact the she knew I needed it. I needed it because I felt reassured that no matter how different our lives seem right now, we are still the same two people when it comes to being there for each other. It made me realize that friendships don’t have rules. They don’t need a specific guideline saying that if you don’t do this or that then you really aren’t friends. What I know now is that no matter how much time that goes by, and no matter what changes happens in our life, she is still there. And so am I.